Today I Faced My Inner Critic

Dear Jesus

Today, I come to you with a different kind of reflection. Thank you, God, for allowing me to connect some dots in me today.

Let's go over the realization, because I haven't fully processed what I discovered. So, come, I invite you to sit with me today in my writing session, Lord.

I'm going to do CBT ( Cognitive Behavior Therapy), which is a tool that my therapist taught me. It has worked for me; I use it once a day or whenever I feel an emotion. Such as anxiety or depression but, today I will use it for stress.

For the first time, and I will use it with you, Lord. Thanks to you, I got to see a clear picture of my stress. I used to never understand stress; I used to hate it.

Now I know my stress is rooted much deeper; it's coming from my inner critic. The way I talk to myself, Lord, why am I so hard on myself? Why do I talk to myself this way? Let's digest it.

Negative thought:

“You won't be able to find clients.”

“Who would want to hire you?”

” You can't make a website.”

” Who will hire you in a marketing job?”

” How will you market yourself?”

Emotion:

Fear of rejection, anxiety, stress

New thought:

You can build a website; you've done several on your own. You were just overwhelmed, because you went with an unfamiliar website carrier. Once you build not just one website but two, you figure it out. In two days, you had two websites up and running, which says a lot about your potential. You are capable and talented.

God will provide the clients he already has, giving you two people to work with pretty soon. That's amazing. God, open those doors. God will fund your business. Have faith, He is allowing you to tap into your full potential, the gifts you naturally hold.

This is your way of serving others. You can do this. Trust in the lord. I know it's scary, but you can do it. You're not alone; he is with you. If he allows you to find a job, he opens that door; if not. You're meant to just go straight into becoming a small business owner. You can do this, and you will.

Affirmations:

You are enough

You are capable

You are talented

I trust myself

I am an expert in this field.

Thank you, Lord, for writing with me today. In the renewing of my mind. In helping me see the deeper root of my stress. Which is my inner critic? I talk negatively to myself. I am so harsh; I never praise myself.

When I do good things, it's because I always see it as something others can do too, but that's not true. I am unique, and this goes much deeper, and you have revealed that to me.

Validation wasn't given in childhood, so this is why I struggle. When I trust myself, I struggle with self-esteem and self-worth.

I thank you, Lord, for revealing this day by day, connecting the dots, and learning to rebuild myself. To the woman I am called to be.

Thank you, God.

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this blog post.

-Cecilia